Do you jump in the Body Shaming train or stop it in its tracks?
Stop trying to fix your body, it was never broken. Nobody should feel shame over their weight, clothing size, or body shape. Many of us may not be aware of the hurtful comments we say to someone on a daily basis, especially about that person’s body appearance. What you said may not seem like an insult, but no one in this world will immediately know how it could affect or trigger the emotions of the other person. We don’t know if what you just said ruined someone’s day, made that person feel embarrassed, or destroyed their self-esteem by making it worse. We will never be able to understand each individual’s thoughts but we can start doing people the favor of being mindful of our own actions. It is sad and in some cases, body shaming has a detrimental effect on our overall well-being and each and everyone of us deserves better than this.
How does body-shaming manifest? It can start in many ways and sometimes, without even knowing it, we have been body-shamed and/or have body-shamed another person. The one that’s been pretty common in our generation is impulsively criticizing another person right in front of them. For instance, you would commonly hear unsolicited statements like ‘You should eat more, you’re so skinny.’ or ‘Your body proportion is ugly, you should try working out and be fit.’ It has been so normalized to the extent that people think such statements would not offend the person they are directing it to because people who normally shame others think that their appearance is more acceptable to everyone’s eyes or to society. The other case that is more concerning is criticizing your own appearance to the point where your judgement is clouded by their insults, and you gradually start to believe them and accept things the way other people believe it to be. You would also start to question if maybe there is something wrong with your body and be discontented about the way you look.You will start to look for anything that could contribute to your insecurities and will eventually drown in all of these criticisms.
Thereupon, how should you cope up and deal with the criticisms? It starts with how you handle the shaming you receive and how you view both sides to come up with a solution without making anyone feel guilty, manipulated, and uncomfortable, even yourself. If you want these situations to end not just for you but also for others, then you need to learn how to not tolerate people from turning body-shaming into a natural occurrence. For instance, if you’re a victim learn to sort out your feelings when the situation arises and calmly and respectively call those people out. Being silent and not standing up for yourself when you know they’re stepping the line would give them more grounds to shame you which will cause a lot more damage. The people who disguise their body-shaming remarks as ‘jokes’ are something that you should highly exclude and disregard in your life. Next, identify who in your life is genuinely body-positive. Are there people in your life who are content with the way they look? Are there people in your life that refuse to comment on other’s physical appearances? Involving yourself in a body-positive community can help you boost your self-esteem and give you the treatment that you deserve.
You may have experienced it once or dealt with body-shaming all your life and if it’s the other way around then it is never too late for you to change and start to focus on the good things. Body-shaming should never be seen as a reason for you to not value and love yourself. It may not be easy as how it sounds, seeing that body-shaming can viciously destroy someone’s self-esteem especially as how the beauty standards are now portrayed as very Eurocentric. It’s good to be diverse, different, and finding the good in you and being positive about it. There’s no harm in celebrating what you have and hyping up your own body. It’s just by having the mindset that you cannot please everyone and should be surrounding yourself with people that respect you as a human being. People would hold a grudge against the people who have wronged them and we can’t blame them for that, but when will the cycle ever end? We tend to forget that adding fuel to the fire only worsen an individual’s anger. Be proud of who you are and do not be ashamed of how somebody else sees you because our bodies are God’s gift, and that’s the only validation that we need to see our worth.
Julia Balili, Article Writer.
